The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity ~Anatole France~



The Last Stand - Photo Credit - Ryan Ricard

The Last Stand - Photo Credit - Ryan Ricard

"Bullshit" I said when Ryan exclaimed that he had just been stung by a bee.  

"Absolute bullshit! It is freezing in here man. Do you realize it is December? The beers are slushy. Bees can't survive up here..."

The kamper was known for far more than a heap of soggy particle board and host to unruly parking lot dance parties, but still the bees have always held my mind's eye. Not one rogue soldier bee but an entire nest of vicious, lethargic beasts ready to give their lives to sting the shit out of any half cocked parking lot poacher looking to vent the aroma of well worn ski gear, damp boots, and stale beer.

Seeing as the Kamper was retired after, what I am told, was a rowdy five day adventure to the Gorge I am reminded of how cool a soaking wet particle board box with a bed, kitchen, and horse shoe shaped breakfast nook can truly be when the right ingredients are added...

#kitkamperlivin Top 10

  1. Applying hundreds of dollars of industrial sealant to the roof of a mid 1970's soaking wet particle board kamper only to have it leak
  2. Watching your buddy get repeatedly stung by rabid bees who have been living in damp particle board fortress for an unknown amount of time
  3. Nearly losing a finger when the jack stands completely fails and hundreds of pounds of wet particle board come crashing to the earth 
  4. Praying that the gaps between the particle board panels are large enough to vent the unburnt propane from the heater
  5. Realizing that if one was required to make an emergency stop it would be impossible and the kamper would end up in a pile of particle board in the middle of the road requiring a front loader or many snow shovels
  6. Experiencing communal living in 200 square feet of wet, possibly moldy, particle board
  7. Watching a naked adult fall three feet to the frozen tundra of a parking lot from the rear of a rotten particle board camper only to arise victorious and laughing
  8. Lookin in awe from behind as the kamper is negotiated around hairpin turns at speed, forcing the wet particle board square to bounce from one bump stop to the next
  9. Knowing that the wet particle board shelter you call home is by far the biggest eye sore buy possibly the most fun to be on a drizzly night on the hill 
  10. Drinking beers through the night because it is too cold to sleep and realizing that life really gets no better and certainly no simpler than sitting in a particle board box playing cards, telling white lies, and thinking about the snow storm brewing just outside the door